Tuesday 19 February 2008

Views on sexuality on Facebook

Right then.
Here it comes.
Another post...

I thought I'd post a little conversation I've been having with a Christian on Facebook.
I make no apology that I've left her name on the postings. If she has the conviction to email such things, then she shouldn't have a problem with them being included here.

It started from my postings on a forum on Facebook called 'Give me one scientific reason that god exists.'
Mallory contact me. Out of the blue:





Mallory Wrenn Wilkins
9:06pm Feb 13th
Matt, sorry to have to send you this mesage (I do not know how to post:) The Bible does acknowledge the existence of slavery but never encourages it. Many people back in that time had slaves, even slaves had slaves but they were treated as humans. People became slaves as a result of debt, poverty or even crime. They were able to work to payoff what they owed and then they were finished.I know that you do not want to be preached to and I am not going to do that. I just wanted to let you know that I love you. I am a Christian and a follower of Jesus Christ. You are right, there is no way that I can actually prove He exists. I can tell you that I do believe in Him. I can tell you that I do stick up for Him and I can tell you that because I believe in Him He has carried me though some tough days in my life when I thought that I wasn't going to make it on my own. I do not know the story of your life, and I don't know why you chose not to believe. What I do know is that He wants a personal relationship with you. He DOES love you...He is just waiting on you to love Him back. The gateway to eternal life is through Jesus Christ. God sent Him down to earth to die upon a cross to save us all from Hell. (John 3:16) He is preparing a place for us all in Heaven to come and be with Him......I hope to see you there :) Have a wonderful day..or night, whichever it is when you get my message!May God bless you this day,Mallory



Matt Reeve
9:26pm Feb 13th
Mallory,Thanks for your email. To post, you need to be a member of the group.
The problem I have is, as you'll see now that you can view my profile, is that Christianity is teaching hate which directly affects me.Whatever anyone says, and however the bible is read, being homosexual is a sin. I've never heard any true Christian disagree with that.
I have a friend who belongs to the Salvation Army. I consider her a friend, because we've known each other for a considerable amount of time.She 'tolerates' my sexuality. She can't accept it though.I only wish she knew how it felt to know that I'm only just accepted, because of something I was born with."I have lots of gay friends" is a usual argument as well. So what? I have lots of straight friends, but it doesn't mean I only 'tolerate' them. To me, what they do with their partners is private, and it doesn't affect the way I think of them - even though to me, the thought of being with a woman is completely unnatural.
The bible teaches that (Leviticus 20:13) those men who sleep with other men should be put to death.How can that be a lie, if it is the word of God?
Again, I really don't want to cause offence - I just want to see a world where everyone can accept the person next door, as long as they're not hurting anyone else. And, in my opinion, there's no chance that could be one which follows the teachings of the bible.
Matt



Mallory Wrenn Wilkins
10:17pm Feb 13th
Matt,
I can tell that you are a very intelligent man! By the way thanks for teaching me how to post :) First off, Christianity does not teach hate and those people that do are wrong. We ALL sin. In Gods eyes all sins are equal, a lie vs. murder...equal. Gossip, sex before marriage...it is all sin and everyone makes mistakes, even Christians.....I do all the time of course not because I mean to but I am human just as you are. In Leviticus 20:11 "the lists of sexual sins does include some harsh punishments. Why? you ask. Well because God had no tolerance for such acts for the following reasons. 1) Because they shattered the mutual commitment of married couples. 2) they destroy the sanctity of the family, 3) they twist people's mental well-being and 4) they spread disease. Sexually sin has always been widely available, but the glorification of sex between people who are not married to each other often hides deep tragedy and hurt behind the scenes." (That was defined in my study Bible.)Before I was married I had had premarital sex. I always knew that it was wrong but I got myself into some situations and I let it happen instead of standing up for what I knew was right. I got married just three months ago and believe me the hardest thing I think that I have ever had to do so far was to tell my future husband that I had not saved myself for him. See God created men to be with women, God created you for a woman.....or maybe to live a life of singleness. The point is is that He has a plan for your life. He wants to use you to bring glory to His kingdom. You are to smart for this! God loves you and wants you to be happy. If you ever are curious about learning from the Bible about homosexuality I have a fantastic friend who would love to share with you! Her name is Sharon and her email address is RenewedHope@comcast.net. She is amazing.I hope that I have not offended you today......I don't know for some reason out of all of those people I picked you to talk with today. You seem like a wonderful guy and person with a lot to look forward to in life.By the way.....I accept YOU! Thanks for listening to me,Mal



Matt Reeve
12:31am Feb 14th
Mal,Thanks again for getting back to me - and thanks for taking the time.I would email your friend, but what am I talking to her about?
The thing that worries me Mal, and you obviously seem like an accepting person, is that you say I was 'made for a woman, or to be single'. That's the bit that Christians can't understand.
Think back to when you first wanted to fall in love with someone like you read in fairy tales, or saw in films. Did it feel completely natural to want to be with a man? I bet it never even crossed your mind that you would ever want to be with a woman. Fair enough, because that's the way you were born.Imagine then, when I was sitting watching those films, or reading the stories of the prince and princess who marry and live happily ever after. I never wanted to be with the woman. Ever.It tore me apart through my ENTIRE childhood, because I knew what I wanted and NEEDED, even at that early stage. I didn't want anything sexual - because I was so young that no one did, but I remember the feelings like it was only yesterday.As I got older, I tried to fight the urge. Although I never said anything to anyone, I knew quite clearly that it was wrong and 'evil' to be gay - so I found myself a girlfriend, and stayed with her for just over a year. I couldn't have ever asked for more. I connected with her, closer than I've ever been with another woman. But it was never love, at least not in any more than a friendship could be. Eventually it was too much, and I broke her heart.We're good friends now - and her and my other half get on like a house on fire.
What I'm trying to get at, is that I was born this way. (In fact, a t-shirt I saw once said 'God made me gay - who are you to question his will?' which made me laugh!)Unless you can see things through my eyes, or unless I find a way to explain it better, you'll always see it through jesus-tinted glasses.That's the problem I face Mal... I don't want a tap on the hand, and a "there, there, it'll be ok, we 'still' love you." I want a world where it's not even an issue - but with Christians (and, admiteddly other religions) in charge of things, that's never going to happen.
Thanks for saying I look like a wonderful guy - and that I have a lot to look forward to, but in a world where religion is more powerful than anything else, I'll always have that thought hanging around.
If you could just see the world through my eyes for a few days - thinking the same thoughts that I do, and seeing the prejudice from people around you, you'd see that the way I am could never be a choice or a mistake.I'm very happy now. I've finally found Richard, the missing piece of the jigsaw, but until then I thought I was destined to lead a life on my own. I can't see why any God would do that to someone, if he truly loved them?
Matt


Matt Reeve
11:41pm Feb 16th
Hi Mal,I hope all is ok - I just wondered if you'd had time to read my reply?



Matt Mallory Wrenn Wilkins
Today at 3:22am
Yes Matt, I did....sorry that I haven't written back, we had a little family reunion over the weekend and I really wasn't able to check my email and stuff.I have honestly been thinking about you though. I know that you do not want to be "slapped on the hand" and I hate that you feel that way. Sometimes people do not know the appropriate way to talk to people but I do wish that you would email my friend Sharon Young. As a mother she can relate to your situation. Her daughter is homosexual and has been for several years. I have already talked with her a little about you. As a Christian I can not accept you being homosexual.....to be honest it made me so sad to hear you say that Richard was the missing piece of your jigsaw. The reason why you feel "happy" is beacuse when Satan has you in his grip he leaves you alone so to speak because you are commiting a sin and he loves to see that. God can not bless you while you are doing this! Satan has you thinking you are so happy and that this is what you want and how you feel. He has gotten in your head, remember that verse Leviticus 20:11 and when I told you those punishments?? Well that last one was about the mental side of this. So right now I know you are thinking "she is CRAZY!" But a man should desire a woman.....Satan has you so blinded that you just can't see that. I hope that you do believe in God...I wish that you would give Him a chance to show you how wonderful He is and let Him show you that plan for your life!!!Let me ask you one question...if everyone was homosexual how would human life continue??? God created us to mate..man with woman so that we could have children! That is how we all got here.Just think about it and please think about talking to Sharon...she could share so much with you and probably be able to better relate to you more so than I can. I hope that you had a good Monday!!! Talk with you soon,Mallory



Matt Reeve
Today at 10:03pm
Mal,In some ways, I don't want to reply to your email, but I'm concerned that if I don't, I'll regret not getting this off my chest.
What you've said, is the very reason I don't believe in God - and the reason this world is in the state it is.Your one VALID point, was that if everyone on earth was gay, then there'd be no more people. But if everyone on earth was a nun, or a catholic priest, then there'd also be no more people.If, however, the world was full of gay people - short as our existence may be, it would be a happy and peaceful one.
It's sick that Christians can get away with pushing such abuse on people. When I read bits of the bible, or have them thrust upon me, yes, I think 'they must be nuts to believe it'. But it doesn't affect me.BUT, it's twisted that on a 'faith' basis, you can get away legally with offending and discriminating against gay people. If I did it publicly to you, or another Christian, I'd be locked up. If you did it to a gay person, you may get a fine.
Why can't you see that you're the one who's wrong Mallory?? Please, you have to re-read you email. I don't care if you're religious. I accept and understand why you feel you need that reassurance in your life, but your god is supposed to be one who teaches love. You are practicing HATE. You don't accept me, or love me, you only accept the person you think you can change me into being.If Satan was in control of me, would I accept you? Would I accept Muslims? Would I understand that it's perfectly normal for you to feel the way you feel? No.I would HATE you. That's what Satan would instruct me to do, because he has no love.
You must realise that you're doing everything that Christians say they don't do.You can't understand my situation, because you're not willing to. I CAN understand your situation, because I'm willing to accept you and ignore our lifestyle differences.
You sound such an intelligent person, and one who obviously has a heart capable of love, but it's conditional love. Isn't that the exact reverse of what jesus told you to do?
I will email your friend, purely because you've asked me to. If it's for emails similar to yours, then I'm afraid I won't commit the time to reply. I'm busy studying to be a paramedic, and I have to schedule time for the PC as it is, but I needed to get this off my chest.I suppose being a paramedic is something to do with satan as well? Or is it because of god that I'm doing that? If so, then what you've said makes no sense. God cannot bless me while I'm in the grip of satan.
You must realise Mallory, to you, your comments must seem pretty tame - but to me, or any other gay person, they're offensive, abusive, degrading and hate-filled.It's the sort of thing which causes depression and suicide. I know because I've seen it happen to a dear friend.He was made homeless by his Christian family, who 'loved him, but could not accept him'. He was then refused entry to a salvation army night shelter because he was a known homosexual, and he froze to death. ON CHRISTMAS EVE...Is that fair? Was it a Christian thing to do? No.I reported the night shelter, but the official reply from the government was that the night shelter was a Christian charity, and they therefore had every right to refuse entry 'on faith grounds'.If I ran a night shelter, would I shut the door to those who were openly Christian? No. I would show unconditional care.
Since joining facebook, these are SOME of the websites people have aimed me towards. Some after conversations like this, and some completely out of the blue.Is this love?
http://www.godhatesfags.com/http://www.freejesus.net/views/sin.phphttp://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Evils%20in%20America/Sodomy/gay_pride.htmhttp://www.jesus-is-savior.com/Evils%20in%20America/Sodomy/gay_pride.htm
I know the conditioning and upbringing you've had means this has probably all been in vain, but I hope that one day you realise just how damaging some of the things you've said could be.I've been attacked because of my sexuality, I've been put in hospital, and humiliated in public. Is it ME doing the work of satan?It must seem like you're doing the right thing, but you're not. Any Christian who thinks they 'understand' what it's like to be gay is WRONG.
Your Christianity is something you've learnt. Something you've been conditioned to believe. I won't attack your beliefs, because they're personal. But your values? They're not those of someone offering unconditional love.
Imagine a world where instead of mixed sexualities, our perception of colour varied from one person to another:
How do you see a tree? Brown with green leaves?The majority of people see it as blue with red leaves. No problem really, is there? You can keep that feeling to yourself (discussing it with like minded people, as long as it was behind closed doors), and it will hurt no one.So how would you feel if you suddenly started receiving abuse for that? Being shouted and spat at in public, because of a feeling or perception you couldn't change? Being told you had less rights than others because what you see is 'wrong', 'a choice' or 'the work of satan'?Worst of all, imagine your family and friends telling you they love you, but can't accept you because of the way you see that tree.How would you feel? Probably, I hope, the way I feel every day.
Do I expect a reply? Not really.I know that you've probably heard all of my arguments time and time again. They probably mean very little to you, because you've been taught not to accept them, but let me finish by saying this:My private life hurts no one. It may not be something you accept or like, but it's always between consenting adults, and we're good enough to keep it to ourselves.Your views though, are damaging. They're offensive, whichever way you look at them. Christians destroy the lives of gay people every day all over the world.Unconditional love?
Matt

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Mallory is doing what God wants her to do. She told you the truth. She is not demeaning you. She is not putting you down. She is simply spreading the truth about God's word. Unforunately, you can and will not see that. Mallory never intended to agree you with you. All she did was to plant the seed of Christ in your life. If you are unwilling to accept that seed... then that is on you Matt. Not Mallory. When you die you will have to answer to Him and Him alone. We were put of this earth for Jesus alone. For his plan and will for our life. He gives us the freedom to choose to accept his plan and path.

And to get a few this straight. Jesus is a loving God. But we will serve justice where justice is due.